Ego and Personality

I use these words interchangeably. In psychological terms they may be different, but to me these are distinctions without a difference. The personality is who you became after socialization. It is not who you are in truth, it is who you are in society.

When we use the word ego, we typically mean big ego, someone who is full of themselves. Again, this is who someone is in societal terms not who someone is in truth.

Dogen Zenji said everyday we swim on the surface of the ocean, yet our feet can walk across the bottom. This suggests that while our daily lives seem superficial, our true na-ture has great depth.

Finding who we are in truth is understanding our true nature, this is enlightenment. We then will reset our priorities, shed previous thinking and habits, and understand how we fit in the world. This is the purpose of our life.

From Page 45 of my book

Pileated woodpecker working in the back yard.
Native to this area, these magnificent birds are about 2 feet long. Their call is distinctly tropical. No matter how many times I hear it, I stop in my tracks and think how did a toucan get loose? When they hammer a tree it sounds like a construction crew is at work. There are several breeding pairs close by. I feel deeply privileged to share the world with these impressive beings.

Time, Athletics and You

Have you ever watched our greatest athletes? Maybe you have been one yourself. The best ones operate in the present moment. They don’t think about anything.


They don’t wonder how to shoot the basket, hit the ball or throw the pitch. They just move to the music of their athletic soul, in complete mindfulness. They operate in the pivot of time, the absolute moment of now. When they stop to think about anything, the music stops, and the performance suffers. They fall back to earth and become imperfect once again, mere mortals living in their minds of illusion with all the rest of us.


Does the lion wonder whether he will chase down the gazelle? Does the seed need to be told how to sprout? Does the flower know when to bloom? We are so busy thinking about how to correct the past, or anticipating the future, that we forget the only thing that is real, the present moment of now. Be the lion, or be the seed, or be the flower. They remember what we have all forgot.

What happened on Turk’s Mountain today?

The cling peaches are all beginning to ripen. Last year the crop was monitored and stolen by a secret competitor(s), probably raccoons and/or opossums. One day at 5 o’clock the peaches were there, later that night when I went to get one, only the pits scattered on the ground were evident. This year I have been removing the crop early.

The tomatoes and peppers are coming in, later than usual. I will have to decide what to do with all the extras. My order of plants had been replaced by the mail order, but the original ones mostly recovered, so now I have more than I can use.

I went out to take some pictures of the hummingbird bees today. They were everywhere last week, but with all the rain, I haven’t been able to find them. They are actually a moth, but look like a cross between a hummingbird and a bumble bee. I hope to have some pictures before frost.

I started preparing three new beds; one large bed near the front entrance which will have redbuds, spirea and barberry, one long row of 20 rose of sharon against the garden fence, and a long row of 50 shrub roses on the inside of the garden. I still have to decide where to plant the mulberry and elm trees. I won’t put the plants in until October.

The attached picture: Late summer climbing roses trellised on the hay shed.

The hardest thing

My greatest challenge has been the need to always be right. I don’t know if I acquired this over the years, or whether I have had the problem for a long time. I can remember a time when I was naïve and innocent, when it did not enter into my mind whether or not I was right.

I discovered the problem only recently, when with certain people who really irritated me. The source of the irritation was that they felt they were always right. After I had some time to consider this, I realized that while it may be true that they had a problem, it was me who had it worse. What a terrible insight. The source of my irritation was really me.

I cannot say that I have mastered this beast for ever more, but I have slaughtered it a few times. Each time has led me to greater vigilance. I am more aware when it starts to sneak up on me once again. I consciously watch it sneak out of the ashes of where I burned it last. I let it rise up and then watch it go, without giving it voice. I am thankful for the strength one more time. Attention, attention, attention.

From the time I was a child

I was amazed by how everything seemed to come together. I would sit by the front door and watch the milkman deliver fresh milk and eggs, the bread man deliver their fresh goods (early 1960’s Virginia), followed by the dads leaving early for work. How did it all happen? How did they all know what to do? Why did it all seem to be so perfectly orchestrated by some invisible conductor? What was the purpose of all this activity? Later, in elementary school, I wondered whether we were really better off now or in some earlier time when we actually had leisure time, sitting around the campfire, looking out into the night’s sky, weaving gigantic tales about the constellations. Fifty years later, I still feel the same. Why have we made ourselves so busy? Why have we ceased to wonder? Why have we failed to appreciate our many blessings?

What is Grace?

I once was very confused by this word. I knew it was an important word, I knew it was a good word. Yet, what exactly was grace? There are those who use it to denote a period of time as in a “grace period for payment”. Others use it to denote beauty as in a “graceful dancer”. And there is the song “Amazing Grace”. All I have ever remembered about that song is “who saved a wretch like me.”

I now understand why it was so difficult. Grace is a location, captivating an entire landscape of words. No one word really does it justice. Grace is beauty, peace, love, kindness, forgiveness, benevolence and much more. Most importantly, grace is who we really are, it is our true nature.